When Lakewood Came to Chabad

I like to remember this when I get bummed out about the lack of achdus in the Torah Observant world of today.

I like to remember my Chassunah.

To out myself a bit, I am someone who was married for 18 years to someone not Jewish. During that time, I went to the local Chabad; then, at age 41, I left my wife and family and adopted the Frum lifestyle.

At about age 39, I got in contact with my Frum family, who happen to include several members of the G'dolim haDor. I even got my picture in the Hamodia centerfold, accidentally, at a Chasunah. For the curious among you, that's me, on the Rebbe card #114, unknown shmendrick staring at the camera.

For the first three years of my Frum life, I lived in Passaic; then, my non-Jewish daughter needed to move in with me. Unfortunately, there's no place in Passaic for a man with a non-Jewish daughter, so I moved back to where I had come from, and restarted my relationship with Chabad.

Last Kislev, I finally found a Frum woman who would put up with me, and we got married at our local Chabad. Of course, my Frum family, the Roshei Yeshivos came to the Chabad house and were b'simcha Chosson v'Kallah. I have pictures to prove it (:=).

It was wonderful. I started off with a speech, in Yiddish, on how we have seemed to have forgotten what the Rishaim of Mumbai knew: a Jew is a Jew. The murderers didn't ask what Nusach their victims davened, nor if they poskened according to the Mishna Breura or the Shulchan Aruch haRav. My Rebbe then regaled the Roshei Yeshivos with a vort from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, also in Yiddish.

My Rebbe was Mesader Kiddushin, and my Kallah's Rebbe (also Chabad) read the Kesubah. Besides my father, the Kevodim were mostly given to my Choshiv family. At the end of the evening, my S'fardi friend led the M'zumin, stumbling over the unfamiliar Ashkenaz Birkas haMazon in his hard-core S'fardishe accent.

During the evening, Lubavitch, Yeshivish, Frei and Goy (my immediate family is not Frum) all danced together. My Rebbe regaled my family with stories of his work out in the "wilderness", the atmosphere was magic.

Sinas Chinam is not necessary. Achdus is possible. All of us need to remember this, no matter how difficult it may be.